All for His Glory

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -2 Cor 4:17-18

If there's one thing this season has done for us together as a couple, it's to illuminate the scriptures for us in a way that we haven't really known them before, in a way that we both didn't know we needed to understand them for our own comfort, consolation & growth. Speaking for myself I can honestly say that each day that I open my bible I am confronted again with the overwhelming reality that it is not only the will of God for Cindy & I to go through this difficult season together, but it is also His highest blessing on our lives as a couple so far to do so, if we would only be willing to see it that way and walk with Him in it. Allow me to explain.

As a believer in Christ there is no higher spiritual blessing, no deeper more meaningful fellowship to be had with God than in our own personal suffering & adversity. It's only there in our own personal suffering that the we begin to see & appreciate the suffering of Christ on our behalf, to see it for what it really was and give glory to God for it. That is the holy place of insight, the place where we, like Jacob, are brought into confrontation with the One who made us, called us out of the world & saved us. That is the place where we are forced to confront & forsake the many different idols we didn't know we created in our desire for comfort, the place where we are confronted again with our inward poverty & the need for salvation. And while it can be the most painful place in the world to be in the moment, it can also be the most blessed one, here anyways, if we are willing to see it that way and accept it.

You see not unlike a human marriage our relationship with God is rooted grounded & deepened not so much in the easy comfortable times we experience together but in the difficult ones we didn't see coming. It's the unexpected conflict, the painful merging of two different personalities, that really deepens a healthy marital relationship. Those are the moments when we get to see ourselves & our spouse for who they really are (good & bad) in the light of truth, the moments when we either continue the trend of self preservation or embrace sacrificial love in its place. Those are the moments we are often forced to face together the harsh & difficult realities of life, the sacred moments when our love for one another is tested & established. And since God is a person (albeit a transcendent sinless incorruptible one) & we are in a relationship with Him in Christ, then the same must be true (at least to some extent) of our relationship with Him as well. At least that is what the scriptures seem to indicate. And it is in that light that one might even say (treading lightly of course) that most (if not all) of the Pauline epistles were a sort of written counseling session between the bride of Christ & her groom, with Paul mediating on behalf of the Holy Spirit, to correct admonish & convince her for her own spiritual benefit; which of course brings me back to Cindy & myself.

You see far from being some awful meaningless unending trial we've been forced to endure for no good reason, this season has actually been one long albeit often painful, sometimes overwhelming, series of blessings & instruction, with the scriptures acting as a sort of mediator between the two of us & Christ. For me personally, I am learning to cast ALL of my cares & anxieties on the One who saved me, no matter what they are or how overwhelming they feel to me in the moment (1 Pet. 5:7). I'm learning that I need to be refreshed by the love of God for me in the gospel, daily, that I need to recall His goodness towards our family & remember that it extends beyond the boundaries of what any of us can offer Him in return, that He is glorified in our dependence & magnified in our weakness. I'm learning to see that everything from Cindy's original diagnoses to her ongoing chemo therapy (and everything in between) has really been a divine opportunity for God to show Himself strong on our behalf, to bless us by grounding us in the gospel of our salvation, to deepen our understanding of His sufficiency in Christ & so bring Him glory through the witness of it to others.

So while it might feel rough to us in the moment, at times, the suffering & adversity we get to experience together in this season is really just the highest blessing of God in our lives, the triumph of His power over our sin and death in all of its natural glory. By attempting to avoid it or escape it we only do injury to ourselves, and so rob ourselves of the greater more glorious spiritual blessings there are to be had in Christ Jesus through the Gospel. And the more I think about it the more I realize that the apostle Paul must've understood this and that is why He spoke so often about his own human suffering and even gloried in it.

But I know what you're probably thinking right now. If we were all to be REALLY honest with ourselves we would still admit that no matter how glorious this talk of suffering sounds right now it is still painful to endure none the less and we would all rather just skip it in the end. And you are right. I know Cindy and I have thought that at different times and honestly still do! BUT we both also prayed (single & married) that God would have His way in each of our lives no matter what, that He would lead us & guide us according to His own will & not ours regardless of the cost, that He would get the maximum amount of glory in our lives no matter how hard it is (some prayer huh?). And you know what? He has done just that, not in the way we expected or even hoped of course. But none the less He has done for us exactly what we asked of Him! And it has all been worth it for us so far. In spite of all the anxiety & difficulty we have both experienced over the last few months we both agree that this has been the most blessed either of us has ever been in our walks with God, that it is without a doubt the most consistently & gloriously we have ever seen God work on our behalf in our lives and walks. And that is saying something my friends!

So in closing we both want to encourage you to pray a similar prayer in your own way of course and as you feel led by the Spirit of God. We want to encourage you to trust the Lord in new & deeper ways, to rest in His leading and be content with whatever HE wants for your life, to be willing to go to places you might not really want to go, maybe even experience difficulties you might rather avoid altogether, to be open to the possibility that what you want for your life right now might not be the best God has for you, that maybe the very thing you wish to avoid is actually the very blessing of God on your lives. Whatever the case you and I can rest in the fact that He is always good no matter what our current circumstances might be. His ways are never our own and He is always working on our behalf for our greater good to the praise and glory of His name. And I don't know about you but that brings me great comfort!

Prayer Requests:

*Pray for Cindy as she enters the most
difficult/crucial stage of her chemo therapy. Pray for her health,
her delayed nausea and aches from the booster shot

*Pray for Chris as he takes on more
responsibility in the home

*There will also be no holiday travel this year.
So please pray for the boys as they adjust to change.

*Pray for the unavoidable loss of pay
when Chris misses work

* And as always pray that we would grow
in our faith & dependence on God as He navigates us
through this very difficult season

We love you all and appreciate everything you have done already:)
Lord lead you & bless you

Chris & Cindy

Rebecca Joy 7 months

Big bother and baby girl

Rebecca & mommy

mommy & her boys

Chris leading us in worship

The Hill of Difficulty

by Chris

Anyone who knows me knows that one of my favorite books is The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan. There’s a part in that book where Christian must climb The Hill of Difficulty. It’s a particularly steep hill, one so high & so hard to come by, that Christian eventually has to climb on his hands & knees just to scale it.

As I think about the different hardships my wife’s had to endure over the last few months, it’s the Hill of Difficulty that comes to mind because Chemo Therapy is just that. It’s a very difficult hill that must be endured at all costs whether she likes it or not. It’s a slow painful climb up a difficult hill often at times on her hands & knees. And while I may not be the one going through it myself, I do have the divine privilege of walking, climbing & crawling beside someone who is, someone very close to me whom I love very dearly. And let me tell you it is a sight to behold. The side effects alone are something to be reckoned with.

Now please understand I don’t expect you to fully understand the weight of what I've written here. How can you being removed understand what I myself struggle to comprehend daily, being in it? But I've written just the same not only to give you a simple update on the current situation but to challenge you (& me) to look at the situation from a different perspective, to see it the way God would have us to, through the lens of His Spirit.

The truth is we are all confronted with death on a regular basis, whether we see it or not. And Cindy’s condition is certainly no exception to that. We just don’t think in those terms because we haven’t learned to see our life with the eyes of understanding. I know I haven’t.

Still, every sickness, every disease, every sinful inclination motive & action you & I have is a manifestation of death. Every attempt to stop aging, change our appearance or alter our physical makeup an attempt to thwart or at the very least slow down death. We just haven’t learned to see it that way. And the culture we live in definitely reflects that.

But the reality is we all live on a dying planet that is waiting to be renewed, walk around in corrupted dying bodies that are waiting to be remade. And we hope in an everlasting kingdom that while here in a small form is still waiting to be permanently established. So while my wife IS suffering (and you can believe that she is), it is only temporary: the momentary climb up a hill that will ultimately be removed & destroyed in time. And we know that & rest in that hope together according to Romans 5:3-5.

So when you pray for us, please remember that reality & join with us by praying in the same way.

We love you all & are so grateful for your continued prayer & support in this our journey up the hill. Lord bless you according to His will
-Chris & Cindy

Prayer Requests

Please pray for:

* For the boys: During this difficult and trying time there have been lots of changes and adjustments. It has been hard. For Noah to continue to grow in therapy. Also that Noah would quickly adjust to his orthotics.

* For Chris: Patience with the boys and wisdom. He also needs grace in times of loneliness and financial wisdom. He also needs pray for extra strength as he works all day and then comes home and is Mr. Mom.

* For God to provide meals for us on the days we really need it like on chemo days.

* For Cindy: healing and strength. Also against side effects ...loss of appetite, hair loss, mouth sores, neuropathy in her hands & feet and digestion issues. Also for those days when she feels good not to do too much be rest. Also for her emotions to be strong on chemo days. 9 more to go!

* For Cindy's uncle Kurt who is battling stage 4 colon cancer. Pray for his healing and strength!