September 2015 Monthly Update

WALKING by Faith NOT Sight

This past month Cindy and I had the profound opportunity to get outside of our comfort zone and visit a small church in another state. What transpired was a mix of blessing and difficulty as the Lord challenged us to get outside of our little paradigm and consider the possibility that His ways are not only different from our own but far exceed them in every way. As I stood in the spare bedroom of a complete stranger, looking outside of their window into the dense physical and spiritual gloom of a place totally foreign to me, I was confronted with this verse:

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." 

(Hebrews 11:1). 

[Some translations also read "faith is the substance of things hoped for" or " the confidence in what we hope for".]

Either way what the Holy Spirit conveyed to me in a nutshell in that moment was that I would never see what He was doing in my life or anywhere for that matter if I only looked with my eyes. I needed to trust Him regardless of what the situation or other people in my life were communicating to me in that moment. By speaking to me in this way he revealed two very important things to me: First this is what it really means to walk by faith and second, I was not doing it. I was not walking by faith, not really, not in the way that scripture exhorts me to. I was clinging to confirmations, to external financial provisions, to family, to friends, to my intellect and my understanding but not Christ, not the Holy Spirit and not the Father that led me this far. And I knew it. Deep down I knew it. And He knew it. And He led me all the way to another state to finally graciously and authoritatively call me on it.

You see I had always thought that I HAD lived my life by faith because I was willing to do what certain other believers professed to do but didn't have the courage to really follow through on. I thought that if I exhibited a little more faith than THEM that I was walking by faith in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. But I only deceived myself because that's not really walking by faith in the way that God calls us to, is it? He does not call us to judge and compare the faith of others and then act accordingly. No. He calls us to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in everything regardless of the circumstances. He calls us to set aside our own parameters and comfort zones, our personalities and experiences, to leave our judgment and understanding at the door and trust His naked word, and not just the cannon of scripture but also the voice of His Spirit in our inner being as He leads us according to that cannon of scripture.

You see it is not our place to set the parameters for walking by faith. That right belongs to God. It is our place to follow His leading, to rely on His word and depend on His power. We get the privilege to be led. He alone has the right to lead.  So, why am I sharing all of this with you? Why be so transparent about about something so sensitive to so many? Well, first of all if I am honest it is because I believe the average American Christian (myself included) has inoculated itself with the idea that faith is somehow easy, that because we live in this comfortable little country of ours there are no real hardships or opportunities to step out of our comfort zones outside of evangelism. And that is false. The call to be a christian in this world is not a call to creature comfort or blessing (although there is no doubt that such grace is available). The call to be a christian is a call to be conformed to the image of Christ, to depend upon HIM the way HE depended upon His Father and the Holy Spirit in His humanity here on earth.

It is the call to live in both the visible world and the invisible, to experience the tangible and intangible realities that God in Christ has provided for us in the gospel. And up until this time I had failed to see that, at least in practice. I failed to see what it really means to WALK with God, to live by the principle of dependence on Him for everything. And standing in that (now) friend's spare bedroom I came to understand that there is no spiritual couch to wait upon in Christ. It is a call to walk by faith. We must put our feet in the darkness of uncertainty as He leads us and trust that He will light our way. We must speak when we are afraid if He commands us to. We must learn to forsake our reliance upon ourselves if we are to walk with Him, if we are to live by faith. And that is always for our benefit.

So friend, my exhortation to you now is this, do not forsake the leading of the Lord for something more comfortable or more tangible. Do not rely upon your own senses or sensibilities to guide you. Do not let the word of God in scripture become an excuse to dull your senses to the word of God in your ear by His Spirit. Learn to rest in the promise that He will never leave you or forsake you, that He has gone before you, overcome the world and prepared a place for you. I promise that you will never be disappointed if you do, no matter how difficult the road before you may be to do so.

Lord bless you for your faithfulness to our family. I know it has been a blessing to write you as I do. May the Lord encourage you, drain the dross of my message and fill you with His peace.

You are loved. And we are grateful for you!

-Chris and Cindy

 

     Celebrating our 7 yr anniversary in Seattle  

      Daddy and his little ones! 

     Just got my port removed!! Celebrating 1 yr cancer free!!!! 

Praises- 

~ A fun 7th yr anniversary trip to Washington kid free! 

~ Cindy's port-a-cath (what they used to administer chemo) removal was successful and is healing! 

~ Celebrating 1 year cancer free for Cindy this Oct. 

~ A diagnose for Noah which will provide other services we need to help our little boy. 

Prayer Request: 

-That God would continue to heal Cindy. She still struggles doing normal things like taking care of our kids. Pray that God provides helps for the days our nanny has to miss and the Lord would give her the rest she needs to heal. 

-Pray for Noah who will start a special Ed preschool at the end of October. Pray we can prepare him for the transition of school everyday. 

- Pray for the finances we need to purchase another computer. Ours crashed with the new Windows update. Pray that we would be able to get a new one that will last for the needs of our family. 

-Pray for His leading and direction for the future of our family! 

- Pray God would provide another place to live that is bigger and more affordable. Our landlord increased our rent and we are still struggling financially post cancer. Pray we would trust Him to provide all that we need. 

- Pray for wisdom and guidance as we raise our family! 

We love to see God answer prayer. Please share with us how we can be praying for you and your family! 

August 2015 Update

Cancer is a gift

“Every Good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1: 17

Dear Family and friends

Wow it’s been a little over a year since I (Cindy) last wrote an update letter.  As you know, it’s been a challenging year. A few people have asked me what all God has taught me through this difficult season so I thought I would share with you just a little.

Several years ago I met a woman who was a cancer survivor. She shared about the difficulties of cancer and the greatest thing she learned from it. She said she had learned that cancer was a gift.  She believed that God had given her cancer as a gift.  And that that gift was perfect and exactly what she needed.  I sat in awe of this woman who walked with God and believed that cancer was a gift.  I walked away from that afternoon pondering her statements in my heart but knowing that I would never could say cancer was a gift.
 
Now several years later, after my recent battle with cancer, I fully understand why she said that.  Cancer is a gift.  God uses this horrific life altering, life changing event, to show you not only who He is but to show you who you really are.  Seeing and experiencing the sovereignty of God in a way like never before is a gift that can’t be duplicated.  Yes there is a tremendous loss on so many levels unlike ever before.  And yes the pain is unbearable. And yes the poison put in your body is the worst thing imaginable.  But God… God uses it to change us and mold us and shape us into the people He wants us to be.  I am not the same person I was before cancer.  That person seems fake and superficial.  My heart for the LORD has deepened and so has my heart for people.  The gift of cancer is that I have been changed.

There is tremendous suffering in this world and God has called each of us to be his hands and feet and show the love of Christ.  In a world that is all about self, love is the complete opposite of that.  Love is sacrificial.  It costs to love.  Love wasn’t free.  Jesus suffering and dying was the ultimate example of love.  It was horrific, it hurt beyond compare, it cost him His life.  So if we are called to love our neighbor as ourself then it will cost us our time, our resources, our very lives to show them the love of Christ.  I have learned that I don’t love very well and that’s why Christ died.  To pay the price we couldn’t. He loved at the cost of his life because we would never be able to. All of this to show us the greatest love we will ever be given. Christ love is a great gift.

So my challenge for all of us is where am I willing to show real love to those around me? Where am I going to give of my time to sit with someone in the hospital or make meal when I am not sure there will be enough for your own family, or where am I going to show love by coming along side and entering into another person’s suffering?

My hope and prayer is that we all don’t wait till a near death experience to see how deep the Father’s love is for us and live it out to a lost and dying world around us. How can we show the world the greatest gift we were ever given? 

 1 John 4:7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does no know God, because God is love.”

In Christ,

Chris & Cindy
Josiah, Noah and Rebecca

Prayer Requests:

Cindy:  Please continue to pray for her health.  Chemo fatigue is normal and lasts many years.  This makes it hard to take care of our family.  Her Dr. and counselor has said that she is doing to much and under to much stress for her body to heal properly.  It's very hard to rest with 3 small children.  Please pray that she would rest often and allow others to help more. Also pray for us as we can no longer afford our nannies. Pray that God gives her supernatural strength to care for our family full time.  Pray for her walk with God to be rich and full and that she would trust Him with her new limitations.

Chris:  Pray for him with balancing work and helping at home.  Its draining working full time and coming home to take care of the family. Pray for supernatural strength to balance it all. Pray that he would lead our family and all it's challenges out of an overflow of his walk with the LORD.

Josiah:  Pray for him as he starts all day kindergarten on Sept. 8th.  He will be attending Friends Christian School in Yorba Linda which is a huge blessing.  Pray for him as he adjusts to a new routine, new school, and new friends.  Pray also that his heart would be open to the gospel this year. We are so excited and he is too.

Noah: Please pray for our sweet but challenging Noah.  Pray for us as we begin the process of special education for him through the public school district.  Pray that God would move mountains with our insurance Kaiser to get a diagnosis which in turn will open up more services that will help him grow and develop. Pray for Cindy as she is his advocate though all of this.  Pray that God would give Chris and Cindy supernatural wisdom and patience to help teach him boundaries and all the things he needs to know.

Rebecca: Please pray for her as she is growing like a weed.  She is sweet but spunky at times.  She is trying so hard to keep up with big brothers Josiah and Noah.  Pray for her as having her brothers in school will be a big change.  Pray that she would enjoy mommy time and we would have special bonding times.  Pray for wisdom on how to help teach and guide her.

Also please pray for our family as we look to the future and all God has planned for us.  Pray that we would trust Him in the unknown and uncertainty that he will lead and guide us.

Thanks for praying for us!!
We would love to pray for you and your family...please email us your prayer requests (cindybroniste@gmail.com)


Here are a few pictures from our recent family vacation! Hope you enjoy!!
 

         At our hotel! The kids loved it!! 

                          Pool time! 

Making special memories with mommy! 

                 Mommy and Becca! 

      Daddy and Josiah in the big pool! 

            She keeps us on our toes! 

June/July 2015 Monthly Update

Growing Downward

In his book The Master's Indwelling, Andrew Murray compares the deeper works of God in sanctification to the development of an oak tree. He writes, "How was the oak born? In a grave. The acorn was planted into the ground. A grave was made for it, that it might disappear. It died and disappeared; it cast roots downward, and it cast shoots upward, and now that oak has been standing a hundred years. Where is it standing? In its grave; all the time in the very grave where the acorn died; it has stood there stretching its roots deeper and deeper into the earth in which its grave was made, and yet, all the time, though it stood in the very grave where it died, it has been growing higher, and stronger, and broader and more beautiful. And all the fruit it ever bore, and all the foliage that adorned it, year by year, it owed to that grave in which its roots are cast and kept." As I (Chris), consider what the Lord is doing right now in our family, it is this. He is teaching us to stretch out even further in our dependence on Him, through even the most difficult of circumstances.

I wish that I had something more outwardly glorious to share with you, a change of some kind in our circumstances or some great provision of God that I could relate to you about, but I don't. Even though God has given us little moments of rest to enjoy here and there (for instance our 4th of July family vacation) we are still very much in the same place we were last month: still learning to make our way through the slow process of recovery, still learning to assist and adapt to our son's special needs. And while Cindy is doing much better than before (and we are so grateful for that) she is still very weak and still in need of assistance. We are still trying to adjust to the many different challenges and changes that come with losing a year of our lives. And we are still very much in need of all the prayer we can get to know how to do it all.

And yet, we are exactly where God wants us to be as a family, no less important to our development than when He first brought us together or walked us through the difficult journey of cancer & chemo. Even though it feels at times that very little has changed for us, it turns out that much has and God is still very much on the throne and still very much at work in our lives. It's just that it looks very different to us now than it did before. And I think we are both learning to adjust to that. Like that little acorn I mentioned before, that was planted in its grave, we are both learning to stretch our hearts and hands, our family & our finances even further down into Christ then we have before, to place our faith in His ability and surrender more of our own, that we might grow up a little bit more into His image, the image of the only begotten Son of God who loved us and called us to this place to begin with (Romans 8:29) according to His mercy & goodness.

Maybe one day we will both look back with great fondness on the season we are in, not as a pair of budding trembling acorns stretching their feeble hands down into the soil of inward death, but as two tempered oaks lifting their grateful hands to the sky in praise to the One who planted them. For now we are simply learning to be content in our surroundings, to look for any opportunity we can find, or which the Lord presents to us to serve those in need, to enter in and assist those who are suffering as best we can. And is that not the point of our suffering in this life anyways: to glorify the only one who is sufficient in it, to bring comfort & consolation to those who are going through it right now? At least that is our perspective these days and we are grateful for it, because it was given to us by One more glorious & wise than we are, quite in spite of ourselves.

In closing, I would like to say once more (I don't think I can say it enough) how grateful we are for the kindness & charity of those who have and continue to walk through this with us. I don't know where we would be without your love. If you would, please allow the Lord to broaden your kindness & charity toward others even further by asking Him to lead you into giving more of yourself to those around you who are suffering, to enter into their pain and walk beside them in their misery. Like I said it's my prayer that He would do the same for us. I want our family to be a companion to the broken-hearted, the emotionally & physically crippled who languish in this life for a little bit of comfort to no avail. I want our hardship to always be in the service of those who are suffering. I want to say that we did not hesitate to stoop down in the dust or assist those around us in need, in much the same way that God in Christ has done for us.

Lord bless you and keep you in these turbulent uncertain times and add to you and yours more abundantly every day, the riches of his endless grace in Christ.

-Sincerely,
The Broniste Family

Here are some prayer needs at the moment:

Cindy- for her walk with God to be rich and full. That she would serve her family and others out of her walk with God.
Cindys health- She is continuing to heal slowly. Please pray for her upcoming blood work to check her electrolytes. She is also will be having an X-ray soon because she has lots of pain getting up from a seated position.  Recently she is having pain in her jaw with lock jaw type symptoms. This is a side effect of chemo. She also has been having a hard time with heat and it being very painful due to neuropathy.  She is still very tired and struggles to take care of our kids. Please continue to pray for healing and strenth.

Josiah- our big boy is about to start school! He will start all day kindergarten on September 8th. This will be a big adjustment but exciting one for all of us. Please pray for him and us as we prepare him for school.

Noah- we are in process of getting him early intervention through the public school. This means he will have an IEP (individualized education program) which will include occupation therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy and possible ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy. This is a HUGE learning curve for all of us. This means that he will start preschool this fall five days a week for half day. For the school purposes they are saying he is ASD (autism spectrum disorder) high functioning. We are still seeking a medical diagnosis as this will help open up with more services for him. Currently we are still going to occupation and physical therapy once a week. Please pray for us as we learn to balance his needs along with the needs of our family.

Rebecca- she is growing like a weed and becoming her own person. Please pray for her as we learn to teach this feisty little girl who has to out do her brothers! Also pray for her especially with the adjustment of both her brothers being in school.

Chris- please pray for him as he balances everything with work and home. Pray also for his anxiety level that has been high due to the strain of this last year. Pray especially for our financial needs. Pray that his walk with God would be full and give him confidence as a husband, father and leader. Also pray for wisdom and direction as he continues to lead our family as the Lord leads.

Thank you for praying! Please email us how we can pray specifically for your family and their needs.


Summer fun in photos

    Rebecca and mommy enjoying ice cream.

   Daddy and his boys!

    Celebrating together!! 1 year later and in remission!

    The kids on vacation at the beach!

    Happy 4th of July!

May 2015 Monthly Update

The God of the Blank Page

Being the romantic that I (Chris) am I love to sit on a cold dark day and drink in the cloudy and tempestuous sky. That's because the sky is like a canvas to me. And like a canvas I prefer it be filled with a spectacular image of some kind and not just blank. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it gives me something to look at. I appreciate the warmth of a sunny day as much as the next guy. It's just that an empty sky does nothing for me, in much the same way that a blank canvas doesn't. I enjoy the substance.

Now God in His infinite wisdom has chosen to do something quite different in our lives. And I imagine it's because He doesn't view the world the way I do (I mean how can He? He is so far above it all). Instead of blessing our pre-existent life together, He has forced us to begin again. Instead of blessing our little work of art, He has chosen to erase it & paint over it. Now at first glance this seems like a horrible idea. Who wants to work hard at something only to have it destroyed in front of their face? Not me. But as God would have it we are finding out that neither of us really knows what living is all about and it shows. Every difficulty we face together lately in this season only seems to deepen that reality. 

You see as Americans we pride ourselves on our sense of accomplishment and sanctification (at least for Cindy & I) has always been something of an accomplishment. We have invested a great deal of time into working at it and value our growth. But it turns out our God is NOT an American at all and is not impressed by any of our accomplishments not even our (poor) attempts to grow in sanctification. He values the person and as such is more interested in their overall health & development than their personal accomplishments, even the ones they do in His name. It's not that He doesn't appreciate what they do, it's just that He already accomplished everything for us on our behalf in His Son. And He knows that we will never come close to doing what He has already done for us in Him, no matter how hard we try because we are finite & limited by our personalities (the reason He sent His Son to begin with).

So the Master has taken it upon Himself to expose the futility of our previous efforts by smashing our paltry little works of self improvement into tiny little bits. And that is really the point. What do we do when the Creator decides to destroy something we have worked so hard to accomplish? How do we respond to our sudden unemployment, handle a divorce or rejection by a loved one. How do we endure the loss & pain, grieve for our stollen health or live with a newfound handicap? How we do move forward in life when the Creator Himself has cut our legs out from underneath us? What do we do with the blank page when it is God who does the erasing? How do we let go of what we cannot change? How do we trust the One who led us here to begin with?

These are the questions burning in my mind as I contemplate the place that God has us. How do we trust the Lord in our uncertainty if it is God that led us here? How do we trust Him when our gut impulse is to complain at Him for all the terrible things that have happened to us, to challenge His judgment or question His goodness towards us. How do we trust the One that led us TO the pain to begin with? How do we rest in the God of the blank page? And yet in spite of being tempted to think such foolish thoughts, to ask such faithless questions, to think that we somehow know better than the One who made us, I am compelled to remember His faithfulness toward our family and trust Him yet again even with the uncertainty of the blank page HE created. You see the truth is the problem is not Him. It is me. I just don’t understand the beauty of uncertainty, the glory of the decimated life or the naked dependence that comes from knowing nothing about the future, being completely powerless to do anything about it even if I did. 

Again that is really the point isn't it? Sure I might speak of walking by faith but it is only ever in the abstract. I might quote the right Bible verses with the best of them and look real spiritual to others. But at the end of the day when push comes to shove and I am prompted to step into the unknown, if I am honest, I am terrified of uncertainty and resistant to change. I cling to my comforts instead of my prayer closet, my television instead of the Bible, my intellect instead of God's Spirit (I mean is that not why Jesus had to live & die in my place to begin with?). But that is no way to really live. 

The Ancient of days did not sacrifice His life so I could live mine in fear and desperation. I was set free for liberty was I not? At least that's what the Bible teaches me (Galatians 5:1). Being afraid is not living in freedom. And it is certainly not the liberty we have in Christ. But why am I sharing this with you? Why be so transparent all of the sudden? If I'm honest it's because I do not believe my wife and I are in some extraordinary place of sanctification, the exception if you would to the “ordinary” life. I think it's that for the first time, we are finally beginning to live the way we were created to: in the sanctifying liberty that comes from a total dependence on the One who made us & saved us in Christ, by surrendering our own efforts & relying on His.  

And He didn't do this in a foreign country or even in the bush of Africa on a missions trip, but right here smack dab in the middle of the global center of endless creature comfort, in the freest nation on the planet. The sovereign Creator chose to expose our inward slavery & destroy it by destroying what we hold most dear right where we are at. He decided to strip us of our comfort, our strengths, our dreams & our lives right where we live and replace them with something infinitely more valuable than anything we ever had on our own. By seemingly destroying our lives, and redirecting them, by ultimately demolishing our finite goals & rendering our family immovable and broken He has actually begun the process of healing and restoring to a far more blessed state than we ever imagined. It's just that He had to destroy us first in order to do that. He had to expose & destroy the different idols we created for ourselves out of even good seemingly biblical things by first destroying our capability to do anything other than trust in Him for everything we have (a glorious & terrifying truth if you really think about it).

So here we are in the hand of the God of the blank page we know not where, but finally and tangibly free, learning to walk by faith in the practical things, to be led by the hand of the invisible, to lean on the arm of the intangible, to rest in the work of the Divine. We are learning to follow the leading of God's Spirit in the little things & the big, to confront the darkest parts of our personalities in faith that we are already accepted in the Beloved, loved in Christ. We are learning to live a life of love outside of our petty fears, to live a life without the burden of the former things that only ever dragged us down, to rest in the finished work of our savior & rely on His love. It is a far better life than we ever imagined, far better than we deserve. 

I want to encourage you to grow in the way that you perceive our Heavenly Father, to view His work in your life in a different way. I think at times we believe & pray as if God wasn’t able to do anything without our help: to think that we must first instruct Him in prayer if He is to do anything right in our lives. I know I have been convicted of late by this in my own life. And I think the point bears repeating. We can trust the Lord to lead us no matter what it looks like. We don’t need to fear His judgments or His wisdom. He is always good to us no matter what we do. It is in His nature to do so. It is never His faithfulness towards us that is on trial but our faith in Him in light of that truth, that is. So the question at the end of the day is really not is He good enough to trust in but are we going to trust Him no matter what He does or how we feel or are we going to rely on the works of our own hands and trust in our own understanding?

I know we have never really profited from leaning on our own understanding and I am sure it is the same for you. I can think of no higher more blessed life for the saint in Christ than to rest in everything on the One who made it all to begin with. Will you join us in walking this way and put your faith in the God of the blank page? I promise it will be well worth it in the end. I have seen it for myself. 

The Nitty Gritty with Cindy:

- She is still moving forward in her recovery thanks to all of your many prayers and the tender mercies of our God. In fact she recently had a pet scan and it came back negative which means she is still in remission (yay!) She still suffers from neuropathy & has trouble remembering things. But she has come a long way. And we are VERY grateful for the improvement. Please continue to lift her in your prayers as you think of her though. She still definitely needs them. 

The Kiddos:
-Josiah is getting so big and is almost ready for Kindergarten. Becca is such a cutie & quite the little communicator. Noah still gets nose bleeds and has trouble communicating but is improving a little every day. 

Some Basic Prayer Requests to consider:

- Pray for Cindy as she begins to watch the kids on her own once a week. 

- Pray for Noah as we look into different options for helping him further with his development & special needs 

-Pray for Cindy as she makes preparations to get Josiah into school and for the special aid and understanding of the faculty regarding her physical state.

- Pray for our marriage & our family as we continue to walk through the recovery process 

-And pray for our family as we consider the future

We are grateful to each of you for your continued love and support. You are the life blood of our little family, the means by which our God has chosen to speak and work and act. We thank the Lord for each of you and pray for your own continued blessing. Lord bless you. 

-Chris and Cindy

                                    Sunshine in the Rain

                                 Our Handsome Boy

                 Bruised & Beaten but No Less Good looking

                           Our Sweet Becca 

April 2015 Monthly Update

A New Perspective

As I (Chris) reflect on the past year there is so much that comes to mind in the way of what God has revealed to Cindy & I about our lives: who we are, how we need Christ & what needs to change. The Holy Spirit has revealed everything from idolatry of ministry, to deep rooted apathy & gross unbelief. But of all the different gems I could share with you that we are learning together, there's one that stands out above the rest to me. And that is the generally impoverished way I now know I used to live before all of this happened and the rich way that God has begun to work in me to change that. 

It humbles me, for instance, to think of the different ways I failed to appreciate my wife for who she is apart from my broken ideal of her before she was diagnosed with lymphoma, to see the profound contribution she has made to our life & our family in spite of me. In short it took the threat of losing her to see what a treasure she really is. But it also took the profoundly difficult & blessed responsibility of raising our 3 children nearly completely without her, to see how precious & unique they each are and how much they (and I) really need her. It took an ongoing series of practical needs to see the value of the body of Christ. And it took being nearly completely alone for almost a whole year to recognize the value of fellowship & friendship. In short it took the physical cancer in Cindy to finally expose the spiritual cancer in me: that greater disease of selfishness and the need for repentance of it. 

Only where Cindy's was eating away at her body mine had begun to eat away at the very fabric of our family, (at least) my faith in God, our marriage & sadly every other relationship I had taken for granted. Where hers had forced her to reckon with her mortality, mine had force me to face a life without her. Where hers had forced her to rest and receive the aid of others, mine had forced me to step up and serve in ways I didn't know I hadn't before. And in the superior gracious wisdom of God this worked on my behalf to change and grow who I am. 

As I look back on the past year I am not only humbled by the generous natural way that God chose to work in our life through the gracious gifts of other people. I am also humbled by the way He chose to work through the very suffering itself. That’s right I said it. I am not only grateful for the blessings IN the suffering. I am also grateful for the suffering itself and all the difficulty it brought us. Every conflict, every difficulty, every fearful painful moment that we experienced together this past year has only served to deepen us more, mature us & bless us, enrich our understanding of the gospel & deepen our love for one another. It has also served to cultivate & enrich a truly meaningful & necessary dependence on the Living God as individuals & a couple. And as I said before this has worked (at least for me) to change the very fabric of who I am, for the better. 

So while I look back on who I was with a growing sense of regret. I also look back with an equally growing sense of awe for the miraculous way that God has chosen to work on my behalf (and my family's) to not only change my poor behavior but also change who I am, how I think, how I see other people and serve them in practical ways. And for that as I said I am very thankful. If I can offer any general encouragement to you from my own experience this past year it's this: maybe instead of asking God to help you escape from whatever trial you might find yourself in, ask Him to give you a deeper revelation of the gospel in it and change you through it. Because I personally think He waits for us to do that anyways so He can really get to work in us and bless us (and others) in ways we've never dreamed of, in ways that transcend the boundaries of this world. 

Some Different Ways You Can Pray for Us:

- The numbness Cindy's feet to go away. 

- For Cindy as she deals with post chemo fatigue. (It can last from 1-3 years and is worse then chemo tired. Pray for strength and energy for normal everyday tasks.) 

- For Noah's meltdowns and different delays. (His test results are that he is NOT currently on the ASD spectrum yet but his behavior shows signs of being on the spectrum later on. They will reevaluate him in six months to see if there's progress. His adjustment issues to normal family activities puts more strain on our family. Pray for God's wisdom to know how to balance his needs and without jeopardizing everyone's needs as well. 

- Please pray for our family in general as we continue to find a new normal. So far readjustment has been very difficult. 

Thank you again to each of you for your fellowship, prayer and support. You are the love of God to us and we cherish each and everyone of you. 

Lord bless you. 

- The Broniste Family

                      Quality time with Mommy

                          Daddy & Baby Girl

                             Lunch Time!
    

                              Sleepy Girl

March 2015 Monthly Update

Christ In The Aftermath

I (Chris) cannot think of a better way to describe the post-chemo recovery process than to liken it to the aftermath of a major earthquake. (I'm from So Cal after all.) You might also compare it to any other major disaster if you like (whatever is easiest for you to relate to). Everywhere we look we are forced to deal with some form of unthinkable devastation neither of us expected: something we have either lost which can never be replaced or something that's been destroyed which will take years of hard work & the grace of God to rebuild. The emotional spiritual & physical toll that cancer & chemo have taken on our marriage, our family & our individual emotional states is simply beyond belief right now.

And although we didn't ask to experience these losses, to have our lives reordered or dismantled in the way they have been, there is precious little we can do about it on our own because we were never in control of our own lives to begin with & we both know it, even if we forget it at times. We were led here by the One who made us for Himself & saved us in Christ to begin with. So whether by direct intervention or allowance, it matters very little in the end. He led us here for His own special purposes & glory. And we both must learn to except that and walk in that by faith. It is not like He hasn't already proven to both of us that He is with us & for us no matter what happens to us. He certainly has. So we can put our trust in Him & rest in His work through this as well.

Although we have no idea what that will actually look like in the end or what good can possibly come from the craziness of this past year. we do know that He does. And that's enough for us. Personally I can think of no better place to put my own faith than in Him. I'd rather live through 50 devastating storms with Him than travel the road of this life in ease without Him. And that's the truth. But where does that leave us as a family practically? Where do we go from here in the long term? How are we supposed to assimilate back into an ordinary life after going through something like this? What IS normal these days anyways? Recovery is a slow & painful process, one that is clearly going to take a lot more time & patience to get through than we ever thought it would before.

And from where I am standing the only thing I can see that we CAN do is move forward in faith that God will see us through. We must learn to put our faith in Christ and rely on His sufficiency in everything anyways, right? Why Not here as well? Why not in the recovery process? After all, we are not alone in this. We have a Heavenly Father who gave the only Son of His love on our behalf to live & die in our place for our benefit. And we have the Holy Spirit who groans for us with words unspoken & points us back to Him when we falter and fail. And if that's not enough we also have the church body to lift us up in prayer & stand beside us in the many difficulties to come. And that is more than enough for anyone; more that enough for our present needs anyways. So we are clearly in good hands.

Although it is true that chemo therapy recovery is a VERY difficult place for anybody to be in, we both agree it could be so much worse than it is. Despite the difficulty & damage that have followed we are both so grateful to God for all He has done on our behalf, so much more than either of us really deserve. So while anyone would agree it is not the ideal place to be on the surface, we have both seen it to be the gift of God to break us & change us, mold us & shape us & ultimately ground us in the deeper revelation of the sufficiency & supremacy of the Son of God who gave His life for us. For me personally I can honestly say, in spite of all, it has actually been a positive life changing experience, one that I have certainly taken for granted, one I am sure to look back on with great fondness and miss when it is all over & done with. And that is the truth.
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As for Cindy's health, I'd be lying if I said everything is much easier post-chemo. The truth is as grateful as we are to be through it all, it is still not without its difficulties. For example she now has an edema in each of her feet and still suffers from pretty bad neuropathy. Her body still aches the majority of the time and it's still very difficult for her to think clearly about even the simple things. She still struggles to help take care of our children and she can only do so much before she begins to shut down physically mentally and emotionally. Of course it doesn't help that we are currently preparing Josiah for kindergarten or taking Noah to get tested for ASD (autism spectrum disorder) or even that our Becca has become quite the little ball of non stop energy keeping us both on our toes at all times. But life moves on just the same and we do our best to keep on keeping on, resting in the strength of our Savior.

In conclusion, we want to thank each of you again, for the many kindness you have shown to our little family through the past year. I cannot imagine where we would be without your gracious love and support. May the Lord bless you as you have blessed us and keep you in the power of His Spirit.

-Sincerely,
The Broniste Family

A Few Family Prayer Requests for the Road:

- Wisdom & understanding for Chris & Cindy to deal with Noah's ASD results
- Grace for Cindy to adjust to helping with the kids & getting used to normal life
- Provision to pay for nannies until Cindy can take over
- Grace & wisdom in the increase of spiritual warfare (the result of sharing the testimony of Gods work in our lives this past year)
- For Chris & Cindy as they adjust to married life again (emotional & spiritual healing in the re-connection process)
- And finally for our family's emotional state in general (there is a lot of hurt and pain to wade through as a family)

Thank you

   All Together for Easter

   Fun with Family 

     Turning Five!

                                                              Quality Time W/ Mommy

February 2015 Monthly Update

 What is normal anymore, these days? That’s the question I find myself asking lately. Cancer was the norm for awhile and then it was chemo. And now it is remission. But what does any of that mean anyways, in the grand scheme of life? Either way I still have to trust in the Lord with all of my heart, repent of trying to understand everything on my own, lay my concerns at the foot of His throne and rest in the promise that all of this will work out for our good in the end spite of what we are going through in the moment. And the thing I keep coming back to is how is that any different from the rest of the saints on planet earth? 

 I know that nearly every experience is different in some way from the others. But in the end isn’t the purpose still the same? Haven’t we all been called to suffer in this life as believers, to worship in adversity, trust in uncertainty and grow in the midst of our difficulty, as we are daily conformed to the image of Christ through the inward work of the Holy Spirit? So I guess what I am saying is, even though we have been blessed to pass through this particular valley is there not another one already waiting somewhere around the corner, to sanctify us a little bit more and solidify our restful dependence on the One who saved us? I think the answer you will agree is, Yes. Yes there is. 

 After all we were not saved to be comfortable here, but to rely upon and reflect the One who saved us & gave His life for us to bring us into deeper fellowship with the One who sent Him to restore the life of every man woman and child that would believe in His name. And what better way to do that for a sinful selfish individual than in the crucible of hardship and affliction. So while I am grateful for words like remission and transition, I am also cautious, not necessarily fearful of calamity, but weary of my propensity to avoid it at all costs.I do not want to be the person I was before our family went through this hardship. I do not want to grow stagnate in the belief that our own personal comfort and safety from illness and death is really a benefit, and the sole reason for God saving us.

I want to move forward in the reality that we are all pilgrims, as believers, called from the grave of sin and death to live lives of conformity to the will of the One who knew us and created us for Himself, when we were nothing but wretched and self-serving from the womb. And I guess I am sharing that with you so that you will join with us in sharing this same grandiose purpose. I want our journey as a Christian family to continue with or without the threat of death as a testimony to the faithfulness of God and His enduring grace. No matter what happens next, I want others to look at our lives and the sufficiency of Christ in them and say glory to the living God who was and is and is to come. Regardless of what difficulty or prosperity we may experience in the weeks and months ahead I want our lives to always only bear witness to Him and bring Him glory.  

And I am sure you feel the same.

Now as for Cindy's health: 

She is currently in recovery having just recently finished her last & final round of chemo last month. This means she is finally in remission. Praise the LORD! However because she was stage IV there is still a high probability of recurrence. So her Dr. said we shouldn't celebrate until after she has cleared the five year mark of being cancer free. 

Unfortunately her body still aches a lot these days and it's very difficult for her to get up and do "normal" things. So her Dr. has also recommended that she take it very slow for the time being. That means she won't be able to take care of our children on her own just yet, at least not for the next few months anyway. 

And in addition to this some of the side effects may also be permanent, like the bottom of her feet being numb (neuropathy), joint pain,..etc. But only time will tell. Her lungs are still continuing to heal as well.Her lung Dr. is hopeful that the damage is only short term and will subside with time. She still gets winded if she talks for long periods of time, or after going up & down the stairs (we live in a two story) or even when she tries to sing a worship song. So she needs to take it easy.

And these are only just a few of the challenges that lay before us in this season of transition. 

A few basic prayer requests for our family would be:

• For Cindy's continual emotional physical & spiritual well-being in this new transitional period
• For Chris & Cindy as they re-adjust to married life together (those who've been here understand)
• For the children's continued health
• For wisdom to handle the normal challenges and changes of life in light of everything (Josiah preparing for school & Noah's development for example)
• For financial assistance and availability for the nanny situation (at least till may or early June)
• And finally that God would direct us as a family in this next phase of our lives, that we would submit to Him & follow HIS leading, without getting ahead of Him. 

Thank you, all of you, for your continued prayer and support. It goes without saying that something like what we have all just gone through (and truthfully still are) will inevitably change you. And the one thing for me that has definitely changed is my growing appreciation for a godly supportive community. You have been my family's family through the greatest trial of its existence. And I want you to all know that we are both so thankful for you. 

Lord bless each and everyone of you as you deepen in your own understanding of  the sufficiency of Christ in whatever place you find yourselves in this life. 

Sincerely,

The Broniste Family

                                                              Becca with Her Pretty Bow

                                                                   Daddy & Baby Girl

                                                                  Our Little Valentines

                                                                   He's Gettin' So Big

                                                                            Sweeties